11:58 p. m. rAnita nOe 0 Comments



I can't talk to you. Not again.
There are too many things going on in my life, and somehow you're there. Maybe not in the way I'd like, but still there.
And I'm afraid that if I speak my mind, you'll run. Again.

For now I can handle this. Having you by my side, even if it makes me silent. I have the feeling that if you look deep into my eyes you'll be able to read me. It's shivery to know that you already know. And I'm not sure if you don't know how to react, or it is just that you don't want to.

But for now you're there. And I don't feel alone facing what I have to face.

And I don't know if I'm being coward or not, but I don't want to be alone anymore.
For now, for this that is happening, I'm going to be selfish in some way and just let you be there for me.
And after this, I'll face whatever has to happen.

de rAnita nOe

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11:47 p. m. rAnita nOe 0 Comments

Escribo para ver si me vacío.
Para ver si se escurre el miedo y no quedan rastros dentro de mi.

Porque estoy cansada de tener miedo. O de callarlo. No sé que es peor.

Escribo porque la vida se me antoja grande, y aunque tengo ganas de vivirla no tengo muy claro el cómo hacerlo.

Escribo porque decido salir adelante, cueste lo que cueste. Dejar de permitir a mis miedos que me paralicen. Más fácil de decir que de hacer, lo sabré yo. Pero hay que intentarlo.

Y a pesar de las lágrimas, de la distancia y el no saber, siempre hace bien poder ponerle palabras al sentimiento. Aunque las palabras salgan entrecortadas y llenas de lágrimas. Pero salen. Por fin.

Tengo muchos miedos, pero hoy he vencido el miedo a hablar.

Y el resto, Dios dirá.

Un día a la vez, un paso detrás del otro. Y saldremos adelante, aunque sea a gatas.

de rAnita nOe

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