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Mostrando entradas de febrero, 2017

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I am stripping layers of feelings trying to understand the fears that assault me, that I don't recognise, but make my feel insecure and unprotected against my own thoughts. 
A year has gone by and it still hurts. And now that I'm getting to know someone else I find myself wondering if the history is going to repeat it self. 
I don't miss you. I don't miss us. What I do miss is the assurance of God's guidance.  I know that He is guiding me now, but the uncertainty that you left behind has made me try to secure my heart, hide it from harm, as if I could do such thing on my own. 
Doubt creeps from the depths of my mind, am I good enough? Will this person see me behind my flaws? Will he love me just for who I am? 
And for a moment I forget that I am voluntarily not in control, nor I intend to be. I have to conciously chose not to hurt for the damage that you left behind. 
So I pray, to my Dad above. Father fill my heart with praise to You so I can't hear the noise…